John Fahey - RIP - A Eulogy
Written by Administrator Monday, 29 June 2009 22:02
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As delivered by Terry Robb at John Fahey's Funeral in February, 2001.
The great John Fahey. A fearless man who often lived in fear. A man of great strength who could succumb to weakness. A man of great achievements and importance who would often reevaluate them as failures or unimportant. He touch so many people, friends and strangers, and would put off those very same.
Duality? Maybe. Up and down, east and west, joy and despair. John Fahey embraced all, for as all great men, he was on a search for the truth or maybe a search for what it's really all about.
He could easily laugh or cry at the same time about the same things. A big man who was not ashamed to be a child. The child wanted to be a big man, but at times, there were obstacles to go through; this he understood. We would only watch with amazement at his great discoveries and pain. Fahey changed peoples' perspective, with them knowing or not knowing. I know he changed my life over and over again, always for the better. All of these things came through in his music, which he will be best remembered. This man truly wore his heart and soul on his sleeve and astonishingly, like few others, through his music.
So many things can be said about his music, but that would take a long and loving time. This is for later; for the historians. I only hope they find it in themselves to search as he did for the reasons. The music reflected joy, happiness, sadness, darkness, horror, love, and humor. But, it made us all feel better, an intensity followed by a calmness upon hearing it and a wanting to return to hear more; experience it once again. For his search was our search, his beauty and ugliness was ours; only he had the nerve and the bravery to pursue it for us. You always felt through his music or when you saw him perform or when you were with him, that you were in the presence of greatness .... genius. I've met a few so-called geniuses, but without question, he WAS genius. Even at his lowest depth you knew you were near greatness. He wasn't afraid to show his weakness or sadness; or perhaps most likely, he couldn't help it for reasons already mentioned. He was academic and streetwise at the same time. He saw the beauty in Stravinsky and Charlie Patton. He enjoyed and appreciated the great thinker's mind and the common man, and could converse joyfully with both, without prejudice.
I first heard John Fahey's music 33 years ago; it changed my life; when I first saw him perform, it changed my life; when we became friends, it changed my life. I loved the fact that he was a grown adult and a child at the same time. When I first heard his music, it struck a deep chord inside. It sounded familiar and new at the same time. It had the past, present and future all together at once like all "great art" has.
Why Fahey befriended me I'll never know. I can only guess that he trusted me and, although I idolized him as a musician, I always treated him like a friend. That was important to me; he became a friend. We liked to make each other laugh. There was an appreciation of the absurd. He was gracious and generous with me beyond belief, both professionally and as a friend. The trust was that neither of us could fool the other. I would push him, say, in the studio, and sometimes he would not want to be bothered, but he would come through because he trusted me and that's what I was there for, producer and friend. The same with him to me.
I once played him two new songs I'd written to get his opinion. He really liked one, but said the other was just awful, like some bad song he might have written, he said. He excitedly said he liked the one, but about the other, continued over dinner throughout the night how he couldn't believe I'd written such a terrible song. I knew he was right and deep down I knew he would say this all along. Our friendship was the most comfortable in that even if we hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, we would pick up where we left off, as if we had just had breakfast together. This I always treasured and ever took for granted.
I don't think there has been a day I haven't thought about John and his music since I first heard him 33 years ago. I know it's a sad day that in a physical sense, he is no longer here, but he enriched our lives. And, when someone enriches your life that person will always be here with you.
John didn't like adulation, he simply wanted love and care in its purist form for what he himself was; just like all honest people. He was always honest with himself even in denial. Love is supposed to be an, easy thing we are told, but in this day and age, or any day and age, it can sometimes be hard to muster because it embraces all things good and bad.
I know that I loved John Fahey and I always will.
- Terry Robb
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